Oh Holy Shit...

Christmas came early for me.

I've been playing Fantasy Football for 10 years now, and for the first time ever, I'm finally in my league's Superbowl. The best part was, I beat the top player of our league to get there. He was a real punk-ass kid.

I am so screwed for next week's game.

Happy Holidays everybody!

Heat Miser is the poor man's Snow Miser

I can't stand being hot. I grew up in TX where the heat combined with the humidity, the smell of oil (shit), cow manure (more shit) and a thick, bloodthirsty haze of mosquitos. Heat is no friend of mine. Because when it's hot, you can only strip down so much...and you could still be fucking sweating and dying. Environmentally speaking, staying cool via air conditioner is no good, nor is it good for the air it puts out (and you breathe in), all sorts of nasty germs in AC's.

But when it's cold, you can bundle up. Or burn some wood to stay warm. Cold weather means women wear that sexy short skirt/tights/boots combo that I love so much. It means hot chocolate and comfort food and good bourbon. Cold weather keeps us honest.

Mrs. Poor Man is just the opposite. Nothing would make her happier than to lay out on the beach on a 100 degree day, all day.

And yet I was the one who got skin cancer.

So even though Elliott Smith's band was pretty good, they chose the lesser character for their name. Also, Dick Shawn was the voice of Snow Miser, and when I was a kid I thought he was pretty awesome.

Clan of the Cave Bear is the poor man's Quest For Fire

Early 80's cable made me what I am today.

As for that audition (last post), I haven't been called back...yet. I'm not holding my breath. I once booked a job that I auditioned for 3 months prior, but that's rare. And seeing how this is a Superbowl commercial, if I don't hear from them by Tuesday, I figure they weren't interested. But don't cry for me. I did get called back for 2 other things which I was not right for at all. (I subsequently got released from one of them). I also booked 5 commercials this year, 4 of which are national spots, and I'm still getting paid from a commercial I shot last year. So while I'm not swimming in gold coins and candy, like those greedy, striking writers who hate America (and babies), I won't have to temp again for a good long while. This is the year I actually acted for a living. Remind me again why I was a theater snob for so long out of college?

The Mrs. is out of town for the weekend. I've got a few things to do, but usually when she's gone I let the whole bathing, healthy eating and general upkeep of the apartment kind of slide, and just do as little as possible. I figure, I got a wife now. I don't need to impress anybody.

Tilda Swinton is the poor man's Cate Blanchett

Circa 1998

There was a time when I thought that Cate Blanchett was one of the busiest actresses in the world. Now I realize it was Tilda Swinton.

I dig Tilda Swinton.


On another note...I had an audition yesterday for a commercial that would play during the Superbowl. Mind you, I was in a Superbowl commercial last year. I played an employee of the company who bought the commercial. I was a 1.3 second blur in the background. It was fun. No one recognized me.

For the most part (and I'm generalizing here) commercial actors don't do much acting. We say lines a few different ways, repeating these words over and over until we're finally mimicking what the director/ad agency/producer/client wants. There's not much of our input in these things. That's not to say all commercials are like this. Just a lot. Many people have been involved in putting together a campaign that costs a ton of money and has been market-tested out the wazoo, so the last thing they need is for some idiot actor (the last person hired on these things) to go screwing with their concept by putting their own stamp on it. Occasionally you can ad-lib, but it doesn't always end up in the commercial. I think it's a ploy used by really good directors to get the actor to feel involved and really commit.

Whatever. There are worse ways to make a living.

That said, I auditioned for a Superbowl commercial yesterday, and I really want it. Usually I want to book a job because getting paid doesn't suck, and it's another step closer to recognizability (which makes getting cast on the next job a tiny bit easier).

I really want this job because it looks like it's going to be a whole lot of fun. It looks like a funny ad. It looks like it'd be fun to shoot. It looks like there's a little bit of acting freedom in it. It looks like a mini movie. Without giving too much away, I'd be running around the city in various situations, dressed embarrassingly lightly (I embarrass easily), and just doing funny things with other funny people. This is the first commercial audition I've been really excited about "artistically" (excuse the pretension) because I'd just get to act like an idiot on film and get paid for it.

I'm not sure if I got a callback or not. The script we worked off of when we were on camera was not exactly what we saw on the storyboard in the waiting room. But even if I don't book this, I'd just like to have a callback on this one. I can't explain it. Booking it would be great, but I'd feel pretty damn good just getting the callback.