Time Warner is the poor man's ________

Thank you Time Warner. I now have to slum it at Kinkos.

Posts resume when I can download porn in the comfort of my own home. I'm getting odd looks here.

Claire Forlani is the poor man's Famke Janssen

Because you haven't had enough sweets.

See you next Wednesday.

Andrew Robinson is the poor man's Randy Quaid

Andrew Robinson deserves a great big career. Sadly, he isn't an 18 year-old piece of snatch.

Happy Holidays, kids!

Tyson Beckford is the poor man's Taye Diggs

You know what's awesome? When you're bald and considered hot. I'm sure that's gotta be a pretty good feeling.

Cynthia Stevenson is the poor man's Glenne Headley

I've been remiss. Stupid job this week.

Not that this has anything to do with anything...

But this has got to be the greatest MTA poster ever. I've been meaning to put it up for a while. Click on it to see the perils of not holding the handrail. Apparently you'll start to breakdance.

And I don't trust that guy in the shades. Not one bit.

The Travel Channel logo is the poor man's Firefox logo

And they each weigh more than Nicole Richie.

Awesome!

We're on Salon.com's Video Dog.

See? Christmas miracles do come true.

Now go tell your friends.

Do They Know It's Christmas After All?

I don't think the sheer genius of this was truly appreciated the last time around. So here it is again. "Xmas in Afghanistan."
And now that Christmas is once again upon us, it's more important than ever to enjoy this special time of year when the kids in Iraq (and the three left in Afghanistan) just burst with yuletide excitement.

Or burst with missiles. Democracy's missiles.

I'm going to be gone for a couple of days. It's getting down to the wire for the PM to shop for his family. Thankfully, I've got all the macaroni, markers, glitter and glue a hobo could want; however, I'm in short supply of paper. I've got cardboard, but it's kind of my house right now.

Gia Carides is the poor man's Isla Fisher

I met a strange lady. She made me nervous. She took me in and gave me breakfast.

It's summer in Australia. It's cold in NYC.

Steve Franken is the poor man's Henry Gibson

It's holiday time. Give the gift of great character actors.

Taryn Manning is the poor man's Zooey Deschanel

Once again, I thought these ladies were the same person. Then I found out Zooey plays the ukulele.

Englelbert Humperdinck is the poor man's Tom Jones

Mark my words: Those Staples commercials featuring Engelbert Humperdinck are going to do wonders for his comeback career. (OK, so this was the Poor Woman's thoughts, but she doesn't have a blog, so bully for me.)

Lastly: Any time I hear Engelgbert's full name, I immediately think of the "Hump or death" exchange in History of the World, Pt. 1. Anyone else?

Michelle Rodriguez is the poor man's Rosario Dawson

Honestly, I don't know. I'm convinced this is the same person.

These women have a lock on all the spunky, ethnic-with-an-attitude (a.k.a. "edgy"), best-friend (or lead if it's an indie) roles that Hollywood has stereotyped for all of us to digest.

How I miss the days of Rosie Perez and her street-smart-girl-with-a-heart-of-gold films. If I think back hard enough, I can almost barely understand her again.

That guy who wrote "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" is the poor man's guy who wrote "On and On"

Both of these guys represent the best (or worst, depending on your tolerance) of what I sweepingly categorize as late 70's Southern California soft rock. Anyway, the nod goes to Bishop because of his role in Animal House. He's the guy who gave his love a cherry that had no stone.

He also wrote the theme song to Tootsie, which is a great movie, even though the theme song sounds like it could've also been written by Christopher Cross...who I used to think was Paul Williams' older brother for some unknown reason.




Which reminds me, you should probably rent Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas soon. If you can't get it, rent Bugsy Malone.

And THAT, my friends, is how my brain works.