Having a pint with Sir Ben Kingsley is the poor man's version of having a pint with Patrick Stewart

Gandhi would be interesting, but Don Logan would scare the crap outta me. And I'm convinced Ben is a tad bit crazy. Patrick, however, seems like he'd be a good laugh.

Wedding tomorrow. Honeymoon soon after. The next 2 weeks could see some scattered posts from throughout our travels. The poor woman (soon-to-be "Mrs. PoorWoman") wants me to continue to post from the road. I'm not promising anything, but we'll see.

Thanks for sticking around this long. We'll be back soon.

PM

Nancy Reagan is the poor man's Jacqueline Kennedy (who is the poor man's Dolley Madison)

In case you haven't heard, I'm getting married this week. I'm so phoning this in.

Portland, Maine is the poor man's Portland, Oregon

I've never been to Portland, Maine.

Eric Bana posing like a girl is the poor man's Hugh Jackman posing like a girl

Kenny Rogers is the poor man's Count Basie

What does this have to do with anything?

These guys were both born today. As was I.

I'm going to Six Flags.

A poor man's entry to the first person who can tell me what the six flags are.

And no Wikipedia!

Time Warner Cable can kiss my poor ass - The Duff Sisters are the poor man's Olsen Twins

This was supposed to go up on Friday. Apparently Time Warner cable (and internet service) had something else to say about that. And you know the funny part? We get married in six days. Hahahahahhahaha. You see why that's so funny? Because we are now slaves to this internet thing. Every fucking piece of information we need for this wedding (food orders, insurance, family communications, etc.) is in our email boxes. I don't even have time for online porn anymore. I'm too busy emailing back and forth with people I could just as easily call.

Ha!

And now on to something not very funny.





Although Haylie and Hilary were named after a famous Springfield beer, the Olsen twins are so filthy rich, they can dress like the homeless. The homeless who frequent Starbucks. So I tip the scales in their favor. But not because of Starbucks. You see...aw crap, I'm explaining away the funny again.

I want to be so filthy rich that I stop bathing, and it's considered eccentric and amusing, rather than foul and getting me pepper sprayed in public.

Jim Caviezel is the poor man's Cillian Murphy

Sure, Jim once played Jesus, but he also worked with J Lo.


UPDATE: The Poor Woman was quick to remind me that both of these guys are the poor man's Alessio Boni. We saw "The Best of Youth" not too long ago, and ol' Alessio here just made her list.

Helen Baxendale is the poor man's Emily Mortimer???

Again with the foreign actresses.

Pam is the poor man's Lisa

You may not understand/believe this if you weren't born before 1975.

David Duchovny is the poor man's Luke Wilson - lemme 'splain

This is not a game of favorites, people.

David Duchovny needs to get back into TV/Movies PRONTO in order to right this wrong.

Luke Wilson is the poor man's David Duchovny = a time of peace and prosperity in the U.S.A.

David Duchovny is the poor man's Luke Wilson = the world we live in today

Yeah, I suck. I know.

How selfish of me to let a little thing like a job and a wedding interfere with God's work?

I'm tired and lazy.

And I'll be back next week.

Dashiell, I updated the elastic loaves post with a link, just for you.

Jungle 2 Jungle is the poor man's Krippendorf's Tribe

Fact: Every movie ever made in Hollywood from 1988 on is about a father trying to reconnect with his family and discover what's "truly important."

Fact #2: Jenna Lewis isn't funny in the slightest. I give Richard Dreyfuss the benefit of the doubt for this film because he used to do a lot of drugs, and that's messed with his judgement.

P.S. - No post yesterday due to me actually making some money in Baltimore. It involved a bag of sugar, some old ladies and getting my chest hair combed. No dignity = making money.

Charlie Korsmo is the poor man's David Krumholtz

David gets all the pussy.

New York Noise is the poor mans MTV

...but just because not everyone gets New York Noise. And it's not on 24 hours a day. But hell, they play better music videos.


MTV is 25 years old today. Go do some coke off a hooker's ass to celebrate. MTV will.